#22 Relationship Goals

We’ve spent the past two weeks traveling to some of the more remote parts of Indonesia. This adventure has undoubtedly impacted me and left a lasting impression that will influence my writing for weeks or even months to come.

In today’s Musing, I want to share a particularly special experience from my trip that touched me deeply and gave me a sense of clarity about how I want to spend my life with my partner as we grow older.

True sharing

During our trip, I was lucky enough to witness a truly beautiful moment. I saw an older couple in the water, surfing with ease and grace. Both were clearly experienced surfers, having likely spent their entire lives riding waves. Seeing this couple in their 50s still paddling out together was a wonderful reminder that shared passion and adventure know no age.

It became evident that the man was waiting for the bigger waves while his wife enjoyed the smaller in-between sets. What struck me early on was how, even though they were not sitting very close to each other, they were constantly checking in - sometimes through a simple glance, other times with a quick “You ok?”.

What I found so beautiful about the situation was their mutual interest in ensuring that each of them felt comfortable and had fun.

They looked so relaxed and in sync, perfectly in tune with each other and the ocean. It was heartwarming to witness them enjoying an activity they both clearly loved. I couldn’t help but feel inspired by the beauty of their bond.

Relationship Goal for when I am old and wrinkled:

Find an activity that makes me feel alive and share it with someone who feels the same. Nothing strengthens a bond like conquering a mountain or riding waves together.

Trust

The next day, I ran into the couple again at a different surf spot. Just like the day before, they were beaming with happiness, celebrating the simple joy of being in the water. We exchanged a few words and talked about how the waves were a bit more challenging that day.

It was interesting to see how differently the couple dealt with the situation.

They clearly cared for each other's safety, but there was no hint of overprotectiveness or a controlling attitude. They simply trusted each other and allowed each other to do their own thing in their own way. It was a beautiful sight to see, and it made me appreciate the value of mutual respect and independence in a relationship.

There’s a delicate balance between caring and protecting. It’s important to care about each other enough to stay aware of what’s happening but also to care little enough to trust that the other person can handle the situation perfectly well on their own.

Trust is an unspoken language that only you and your partner understand. Trust means to believe in your partner. Trust empowers. It’s beautiful.

Relationship Goal for when I am old and gray:

To stay fiercely independent yet have the assurance that help is just a call away when I need it most.

A smile says more than a thousand words

One of the most heartwarming moments occurred when the man was preparing to paddle back to the lineup, and his wife unexpectedly caught a wave. He paused and watched her with genuine interest as she elegantly popped up.

As he watched his wife gracefully surf the wave, the man’s smile could have outshone the sun. It was such a touching moment that made me realize: relationships are not just about being there for each other; it´s also about celebrating each other’s victories and being each other´s biggest fans.

The way he smiled spoke volumes about how proud he was.

To be truly proud of somebody else requires a deep appreciation and admiration for their qualities and accomplishments. And envy and jealousy have no place in there. If we admit it or not, we easily feel diminished by the achievements of others. But we must put our ego to the side when it is time to celebrate our loved ones.

And it is often the small things that count the most. Celebrating your partner’s accomplishments, whether it´s catching a wave or completing a challenging task, and feeling proud of them can make all the difference in a relationship.

The smile of your partner holds more value than any diamond ring in this world.

Because there is no greater feeling than knowing that your partner sees and values you.

Relationship Goal:

Being the best version of myself to give my loved ones reason to feel proud of me.

Forget picture-perfect

Throughout decades, Hollywood has portrayed relationships as big love stories with happy endings. These depictions have misled us into believing that there is a perfect partner for everyone. No. There isn’t. There is no such thing. The truth is, such a person doesn´t exist because none of us are perfect.

And in our pursuit of picture-perfect relationships, we overlook the many meaningful connections right in front of us.

Relationships aren’t just about grand love stories; they are about the profound bonds we share with our partner, friends, family, neighbors, and anyone with whom we spend significant time, trust deeply and celebrate our accomplishments with a big smile on our faces.

My Relationship Goals

With these three Relationship Goals, I wish that in the present and in the years to come, I am surrounded by people who share my passions and make me feel alive. Who believe in me, give me the freedom to grow, allow me to learn from my mistakes, and catch me if I fall.

Above all, I aspire to make those closest to me proud, now and in the future, and give them reason to smile.