#30 When It's Okay To Change Your Mind

I strongly believe in the virtues of consistency, tenacity, and reliability. However, while staying true to our commitments is important, there are circumstances where the greater good lies in being open to change, even if it means disappointing others.

There are situations in our lives when it’s okay to change your mind, and maybe even essential.

Follow Through & Finish What You Started

It is crucial that we cultivate the significance of following through and completing what we start. As adults, we must continuously nurture this behavior not only to be good examples for the next generation but also to show reliability and trustworthiness.

I believe those who possess the ability to persevere and remain committed are the ones who will truly learn and grow.

Personally, I have always found it natural to stay the course. When I set my mind on something, I consciously decide to pursue it wholeheartedly. Giving up has always felt like admitting defeat.

However, I realized this approach may not always be the most effective.

When is it Okay to Change Your Mind?

In simple terms:

When starting a new project or setting a new goal, there are usually different stages and steps involved. Along the way, we learn, grow, and encounter new situations that require us to figure things out.

If, with this newfound knowledge and skills, the original goal no longer makes sense, it’s time to change direction.

That’s when it’s perfectly fine to change your mind and make new decisions.

Three Situations When I Changed My Mind

Over the past few years, I’ve been in situations where I’ve changed my initial path. I handpicked three instances that exemplify different reasons for such shifts, serving as representative examples.

It's Okay To Change Your Mind When:

1. You Realize That You Are Not Yet Ready

I had set a daring goal for myself in 2023: to surf bigger (overhead) waves. And as I gradually pushed my limits in the first months of the year, I could see remarkable progress. Then, about a month ago, a new swell was announced - a chance to tackle my ambitious goal.

The conditions seemed perfect: the tide, the swell size, everything aligned. With a mix of excitement and calmness, I paddled out. The first few sets were just right, allowing me to get in my groove.

But soon, things changed. The swell grew stronger, sets became bigger, and the waves got more powerful. With the rising tide came a demanding current, making it physically and mentally challenging to control and stay in position.

After just half an hour, exhaustion kicked in. Battling the relentless current drained my energy reserves. And then, on the distant horizon, I saw it - a massive set forming, the kind I had envisioned riding when I set my goals.

I sat on my board, watching walls of water forming.

And in that moment, clarity struck.

Physically, I couldn’t handle the demands. Surfing isn’t just about riding waves; Surfing is mostly about paddling against the elements.

It hit me - changing my mind was the right move. My body and my mind were simply not yet ready.

Sometimes, we have to recognize when the timing isn’t right, and that’s perfectly okay. It's about acknowledging our limitations and making choices that align with our abilities.

It's Okay To Change Your Mind When

2. You Discover Your True Needs

Discovering your true needs and recognizing what no longer serves you well is often a gradual process.

In my post, "Why I Left Austria," I delved into my longing to explore diverse cultures and ways of living. I yearned to travel the world (hence my IG account @pilates_nomads), immersing myself in different communities and observing life from various perspectives.

I believed that traveling would hold the key to true happiness.

However, after two winters of continuous travel, exhaustion and a sense of being lost consumed me. Hopping from one country to another, island to island, uncertain about where I would sleep next week or next month, prevented me from feeling grounded.

While traveling is undeniably exciting, it also entails constant improvisation. Journeying through Southeast Asia with a backpack and a surfboard meant enduring discomfort and perpetually adapting to new circumstances.

As humans, we naturally seek comfort in habits. Yet, during those months of nomadic travel, I had to let go of most of the patterns I had formed.

When you find yourself in a different town or country every week, everything around you changes, and you can't rely on your usual routines. Even simple pleasures, like morning coffee, may not be easily accessible.

There were days or weeks when finding a good cup of coffee seemed impossible, settling instead for instant coffee powder mixed with lukewarm water.

Traveling was essential in helping me realize this. Through my journeys, I understood the importance of having a base, a foundation I could rely on, and a place to return to when I needed to recharge my batteries.

It's Okay To Change Your Mind When

3. Something Isn’t Working Out

At some point in our lives, many of us experience a situation where we invest significant effort and determination into pursuing a specific goal, only to realize that it simply isn't working out. It's crucial to recognize when it's time to let go of something that no longer contributes to our overall growth or well-being.

As someone who values perseverance and mental strength, I've never been inclined to view giving up as a positive outcome. However, there are circumstances where stepping away is actually the wiser choice.

In the past, when I made the decision to quit, it was because I found myself trapped and unable to grow.

Learning and personal growth are fundamental driving forces in my life. Pursuing knowledge and continuous development keeps me engaged, sharp, and curious. If I realize that a particular situation no longer offers opportunities for learning and growth, my motivation falls to zero.

Without that intrinsic motivation, any task becomes a form of punishment. No job or relationship should ever feel like a sentence of torment.

It becomes necessary to change your course, to change your mind, when you realize you are standing still or trapped in one place.

Choose Wisely

I´m not one to change my mind lightly. Once I make a decision, I commit and follow through. That’s why it often takes me time to reach conclusions. I engage in deep introspection, asking the question:

“What is it that I truly desire?”

This seemingly simple question is one of the most challenging to answer. Without a clear understanding of our genuine desires, our decisions often become mere attempts to decipher what we truly want.

In Essence:

Being a responsible person that others can count on requires not changing our opinions, tastes, or decisions at the slightest whim. To build trust, we must show the ability to persevere, even when faced with hardships.

However, there are moments when change becomes necessary. And we should not allow pride to obstruct our path.

It's okay to change your mind when you realize you are not yet prepared for something. It is sometimes necessary to adjust your life plans as you discover your true desires and what you do not want. And it is perfectly acceptable to alter your course when a particular path proves to be a dead end.

Changing your mind is a natural part of personal growth, a testament to your evolving understanding of yourself and the world around you.