#47 About Confidence

Confidence is a bridge you build while crossing. It lives between two extremes - too much or too little, and it collapses beneath you. The sweet spot lies somewhere in between —an invisible balance, easy to sense but hard to hold.

The reason I’ve been thinking about confidence lately comes from a very real experience.

A Surf Story

When I first began surfing, hip-high waves already felt like my limit. Over time, I worked my way up, and by last season I felt at home in head-high and even overhead surf.

This year, when pre-season started, I was surprised at how confident I felt in powerful waves—especially at my home break, where I surf almost daily.

Then came a big swell in August. 

At first light, I stood on the beach watching heavy sets roll through. Without much thought, I grabbed my board and paddled out. No one else was in the water. A year ago? Impossible. Two years ago? Unthinkable.

But this time, sitting at the peak, I felt calm. 

Here I was - calm, alert, even eager. 

It turned into a good session. I caught solid waves, got caught inside only once, and paddled back in with a big smile.

A few days later, the swell dropped. The ocean was playful and mellow.

At dawn, I paddled out as usual.

When the first clean set rolled in, I positioned myself, paddled hard, and — just as the wave was about to lift me—I pulled back.

“What the hell?” I thought.

The next set came. Perfect lines. I tried again. And again - I pulled back.

I couldn’t help but laugh.

Just days earlier, I’d handled big, powerful waves with total calm, and now I was bailing on ankle-biters (well… it was bigger than that but you get the point).

Sitting in the lineup, one thought circled in my head:

Confidence is a slippery friend.

The Quiet Prison of Under-Confidence

Too little confidence feels like knowing exactly what to do but being unable to do it. The inner voice plays a loop of bad scenarios, freezing you with visions of failure before you’ve even begun.

Here, belief turns against you. It convinces you that success is impossible. It’s like facing an invisible wall that blocks the horizon.

Too little confidence can feel like a prison without walls—nothing keeps you inside, yet you cannot walk out.

The Seduction of Over-Confidence

Too much confidence, on the other hand, seduces us with illusion.

The over-confident dream so vividly they can no longer tell the difference between vision and reality.

Fake it until you make it.

Over-confidence pushes us forward even when we don’t actually know what we’re doing. 

And we love it. We glorify it. Hustle culture, grind culture, you can do anything. It’s intoxicating.

It convinces us we’re untouchable — until life proves otherwise.

The Golden Middle

Aristotle taught that virtue lives between two extremes.

Confidence lives between arrogance and self-doubt.

Ambition lives between obsession and apathy.

Trust in yourself lives between recklessness and hesitation.

The “golden mean” isn’t about playing it safe. It’s about knowing how much is enough—and resisting the pull to lean too far either way.

The Dance of ‘Nothing in Excess’

Both are essential. Both require awareness.

It’s easy to see when someone else tips into under- or over-confidence. The harder task is spotting it in ourselves.

For me, it begins with pausing — really pausing.

Looking around with clear eyes.

We are reflections of our environment, and if we look closely enough, we can see ourselves mirrored in it. Facing the truth is like training a muscle—it hurts at first, but it strengthens with use.

Most people look away. Growth begins when we don’t.

It belongs to ones with confidence, but never letting it roar too loudly or fade into silence.

Because the bridge is never fixed. It’s built, and rebuilt, with every step we take.